My revised thesis statement is The different ways religions define gender roles can be due to the differences between their values as reflected in teachings including the Buddhism teaching that women cannot be enlightenment ones, comparison of Blessed Virgin Mary and Mary Magdalene, and the limitation of women's right in Islam.
The first supporting idea is that Buddhism teaching that women cannot be enlightenment ones and be that one, they have to be reborn as men. The second supporting idea is that Christian, Roman Catholic attitude towards women. A woman, Blessed Virgin Mary is the one of the subjects of worship but on the other hand, Mary Magdalene appears as prostitute in the Bible. The last supporting idea is many limitation of women's right in Islam such as clothing.
First, let's refine your thesis.
返信削除Major religions define gender roles of men and women unequally due to values reflected in teachings, including the Buddhist belief that women cannot be enlightened, the conflicting images of the Blessed Virgin Mary and Mary Magdalene in Christianity, and the limitation of women's rights in Islam.
The phrasing of the thesis suggested above makes the claim breifly and succinctly and adds your supporting ideas also in a brief and succinct way.
The supporting points as mentioned above in the suggested way of presenting the thesis are appropriate to make your case.